There is something about Christmas, or if you don't celebrate Christmas, this season, that fills some with nostalgia and hope, and others with pain. As I sit here writing this I am not certain of exactly what it is I am compelled to write, but perhaps something good will come from the process. This day has been full of blessings for me, and as I reflect on them, I see blessings that I do not deserve and blessings that I have worked hard to cultivate. The undeserved blessings I see are things such as the health of my two children and other loved ones. The blessings I have cultivated are stamina, fortitude, and a faith that somehow seems to grow, in spite of the obstacles that life throws at it. Like many, I'm sure, in the face of outward and at times inward challenges, I am blessed to have developed an unwavering love for my Creator and life, because as much as I have wanted to at times, I refuse to give up on it. I know, without doubt, that God, through this life, is doing something beautiful in me and in all of us.
So maybe this is about the process of living and being, and how we choose to respond to it. Though I am very blessed, and joyful, I find that I am also sorrowful and nursing a heart pain. This is the mixed bag of life that we must navigate to find our true selves so that we may aid and assist others on this journey in the capacity that we are called to give. Stated plainly, it's about not burying our talents, and answering the urge to give, even when we don't want to. It is through that process of submitting to what we need to do instead of what we don't want to or maybe are afraid to do, that we can become more fully ourselves and more of what our Creator wants us to be.
For me, that means, not burying my sorrows, but looking at them and knowing that they will not endure, though they may stay for a season. For me, the process is choosing not focus on them, and instead, choosing to focus my attention on the positive and increase my gratitude for all that I have in this moment. It is not easy and at times I get frustrated. However, I am committed to doing and being what God wants, and in my understanding, His wish is not perfection, it's practice in motion. It's the desire to be excellent moment to moment in all things. From giving a smile to the gas station attendant or being grateful that we are capable when we care for the sick and speaking and claiming healing for and over them, though in our hearts we may fear.
I have everything I need this holiday season. The things I want for are not material and I believe in the today and the tomorrow that God has for me. Some reading this may not have all that they need or may find themselves heavy with a heart longing for the particular home our Creator made in the heart of just one other. My wish for you is to believe in the things you may need or want so that you may receive them. My wish is that you would not get too weary while walking in the process. My wish is that you would trust the process for the good that will come from it. My wish is that you find yourself at home in God and within.
For those of you needing or searching for home this season, the mindfulness bell link offers a beautiful way of connecting to it....